Devolution is a journey, and travel times vary

Devolution was famously described as a journey, and like all journeys, travel times can be unpredictable.

But while the national conversation is moving at breakneck pace, Westminster’s debate over the Scotland Bill was tortuously slow. It was like watching a snail freeze to death.

Tory Sir Edward Leigh kicked things off. Looking very much like a man who was aiming to trap the SNP, call its bluff or reveal its timidity, he said: “My aim is not to trap the SNP, call its bluff or reveal its timidity.”

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Instead he offered an amendment that, like the SNP’s, would have meant full fiscal autonomy.

Maybe the party knew it would lose both votes, maybe it’s just habit, but the SNP spent a good deal of the debate taunting sole Scottish Labour MP Ian Murray. And at this, Pete Wishart is a master. 

In fact the MP for Perth and North Perthshire must surely be the most professionally irritating man in politics – the parliamentary equivalent of a stubbed toe. A pointless, dull, aching, lingering pain that only leaves you angry at yourself for indulging it.

In the Bill’s first reading he philosophised on how the debate felt different to previous ones.

“For a start, there is no Scottish Labour left. They were all defeated and beaten... Listening to the Hon. Member for Edinburgh South (Ian Murray) we can see why they are in such a diminished state.”

Refusing to take interventions on the basis he had too much to get through, he continued by cheerfully advising Labour to learn the lessons of its “crushing defeat”.

He said: “The almost catastrophic response to the debate and the legislation suggests why they are so diminished in the House.”

Meanwhile Angus MacNeil nodded on, grinning like a crocodile that had caught a tourist. And he could probably do with something to be cheerful about, with the MP facing some mockery after walking into the wrong voting lobby during the EU referendum debate, and being forced to hide in a toilet cubicle to avoid being counted.

As Angela Eagle put it: “The SNP’s grand plan to shake up Westminster appears to be going rapidly down the pan.”

At least Wishart was there to help his friend out, telling Eagle that MacNeil had simply been in there “practising his roar”. MacNeil then started actually roaring, though it was unclear if he had ever seen or heard a lion. 

But Wishart and MacNeil make a great team. In fact there is probably a buddy movie in their relationship – the two could pair up as a kind of Starksy and Hutch of Scottish nationalism. 
If Sturgeon has any sense, she will buy them a motorbike and sidecar and send them out to solve crimes.

Wishart would be brash loudmouth, MacNeil the smooth-talking sneak – going undercover in toilet cubicles to see what he could glean.

But while Labour may have laughed off Wishart’s taunts – and dodged full fiscal autonomy amendments – questions over its strategy certainly remain.

For the UK party, the choice has been drawn between left and right, with left-wing firebrand Jeremy Corbyn scraping onto the ballot with 35 nominations.

And he is a refreshing change. While much of Labour has spent its time aspiring to be the party of aspiration, Corbyn has stuck to talking about poor people.

It is probably this that guarantees he won’t win. It is generally a bad sign when even the people nominating you openly admit they have no intention of voting for you, instead saying they wanted ‘as wide a debate as possible’.

This seems slightly patronising. It is what the popular kids do to a geek in a teen movie – talk them up, invite them to parties, then destroy them psychologically at the prom.

That or it’s just Labour hoping that by airing its most radical element they will rid the party of socialism once and for all – the equivalent of making a child caught smoking consume the whole pack as punishment.

So it is tricky. Labour is faced with the same challenge presented to anyone who has got stuck down the wrong end of a sleeping bag – you don’t get out by worrying about left and right. Instead, take a moment to think and then look for daylight.

But still, Corbyn is unlikely to win the vote, which is a shame, because he seems to show some good sense.

For example, in 2004, he signed an early day motion, stating that the House: “believes that humans represent the most obscene, perverted, cruel, uncivilised and lethal species ever to inhabit the planet and looks forward to the day when the inevitable asteroid slams into the earth and wipes them out thus giving nature the opportunity to start again.”

This is the sort of bold, clear-headed thinking that Labour has been missing, though it was unclear if “hard working families” would be exempt from this “inevitable asteroid”.

We must just hope that the devolution debate moves forward before it arrives.