Splitting hairs
Last Thursday’s Holyrood debate on the rules governing a Scottish independence referendum may have been amongst the more heated in the chamber’s history, but it was not without moments of levity.

Bare-crowned Finance Secretary John Swinney cleverly rounded off a joust with similarly follically-challenged Conservative justice spokesman David McLetchie by saying they were “like a pair of bald men fighting over a comb”. Whether he then intentionally took an intervention from Patrick Harvie, the record does not show.

It’s like a whole different country
What with Scotland and Scottish political issues bursting so suddenly onto the front pages of national UK dailies and TV news studios, it stands to reason that some of Whollyrude’s southern-based colleagues, unfamiliar with the local media landscape, might struggle to acclimatise.

However, ITV correspondent Chris Ship might have noticed, before responding to a tweet in Gaelic from journalist Niall O’Gallagher with “err, translation please”, that O’Gallagher works for BBC Alba.

International relations
Pandas are notoriously prudish, coming into season for just a few days a year. What does that say, therefore, about the sex appeal of SNP MSP Colin Keir, who on a visit to Edinburgh Zoo caught the eye of new resident Yang Guang and inspired a mating ritual from his new admirer?

Big beasts
Much mirth was had when the SNP’s top man at Westminster, Angus Robertson, quipped at PMQs that there were more giant pandas at Edinburgh Zoo than there were Tory MPs in Scotland. However, after laborious research, Whollyrude can confirm that there are in fact more big cats at London Zoo than there are SNP MPs at Westminster – five lions and a pair of tigers, to be precise. Sadly, this is unlikely to be the last word in tired endangered species-related political gags, so you can have another: there are also more consultations on an independence referendum than there are Tory MPs in Scotland – but the consultations are multiplying rather more quickly.

Commiseration game
One tweeter announced that productivity in the UK was set to plummet as tweeters get stuck into #EdMilibandGameShows.
Entries included: ~
Blackety Black
Noel’s House Apartheid
Play your Cards White
Ready Steady Cockup
University Challenged
Wheel of Misfortune
They Know It’s All Over

Iron Lady is hard Wark
Whollyrude notes that while Scottish Newsnight terrier Kirsty Wark has never been one to let an interviewee off lightly, she reportedly found Thatcher biopic The Iron Lady too much to handle. The TV presenter apparently switched off after just 20 minutes, despite managing to interview the real thing at the height of her powers in 1990. Other Scots have had less difficulty forgiving the Poll Tax PM, with Glasgow in the UK top ten in terms of the film’s box-office performance.

Setting information free
Scotland’s outgoing Information Commissioner, Kevin Dunion, gave his final special report to the Scottish Parliament last week and was much applauded for his tenacious campaign to ensure public access to information. However, he may have been less pleased that one of his props for a photoshoot – a box covered in Freedom of Information stickers – was found blowing free as a bird down Holyrood Road. Now access to information is one thing but letting it roam where it likes is another…

Euro crisis
As we in the UK look on as our European partners attempt to save the euro, how we scoff but then in the spirit of a New Year, they get their own back. Holyrood was disheartened to have to cough up nearly €2 to receive a package in the Christmas post and discover our 2012 desk calendar courtesy of…the European parliament!

Tweets
For tweets direct from Holyrood magazine follow @HolyroodDaily
@pamela_nash
My Dad and Stepmum playing Just Dance on Wii to Lenny Kravitz. Made my Christmas x

@mikeweirsnp
Happy Hogmanay. Let’s hope the Mayans got it wrong.

@ChristinaSNP [Christina McKelvie]
Faggazled by Frank McAvenny. OMG!! I nearly choked on my short bread!!

@jimmurphymp
Happiness is sitting down at midnight to start watching a new box set 24; glad I bought Claire it for Christmas. #ThoughtfulHusband

@DAlexanderMP [Douglas Alexander]
Just completed the Ayr 5k w/ son, 2 nephews, & brother-in-law in a howling gale. Presbyterians sure know how to have fun! #prouddad&uncle

@NicolaSturgeon
Is it a sign of getting old when you can actually remember the events that the 30 year old #cabinetpapers are about? I fear it is!

@shonarobison
Much better ski conditions today on Cairngorm plus free skin exfoliator thrown in!

@ericjoyce
Glassman is a cock, surely.

@LibDemPress
We can confirm that we have not hacked Ed Miliband’s Twitter account. That’s all him.