Families are the bedrock of our society. Love them or loathe them, its members are the most important people in our lives, especially when we are young. Inevitably our experiences as children shape the adults we become.

And yet, despite the huge responsibility placed on their shoulders, families are often in the dark about who to turn to for advice when it comes to bringing up children.

In a poll conducted last year for Parenting Across Scotland (PAS), a group comprising charities who offer support to children and families in Scotland, almost three quarters (72 per cent) of the 1,000 parents surveyed said they did not know where to go for advice and support in bringing up their children. This figure rises to 82 per cent among parents in the most deprived areas of the country.

Most of those spoken to relied on health visitors, doctors and their own parents for information and advice but only five per cent of respondents had sought support from their GP on a specific parenting-related issue.

So what can be done to help parents and families with one of the toughest tasks of their lives – bringing up their children?

Organisations like PAS are working hard to provide a ready source of information and advice, while raising awareness of parenting issues among members of the public and bringing these to the attention of policy makers.

Through their website, the organisation, which comprises Aberlour Childcare Trust, Capability Scotland, CHILDREN 1st, One Parent Families Scotland, Relationships Scotland, SMC, Scottish Adoption and Stepfamily Scotland, and others like them are doing their best to reach as many people as possible.

But can more be done to provide specific help to parents and therefore give a whole generation of children the best start in life? Early years and early intervention are particularly pertinent topics as the Scottish Government tries to address Scotland’s big issues, many of which can be traced back to childhood. It is a mammoth task – tackling ill health, alcohol abuse and crime cost the Government many millions of pounds. But instead of looking at what can be done to deal with the problems, the Government has decided that prevention is better than cure. And this is when Scotland’s humble mums and dads become so important.

Work on a national parenting strategy, one of the SNP’s election pledges, is currently under way. The strategy is close to the heart of Minister for Children and Young People Angela Constance. “At a very personal level, one of the things that I advocated should be in our manifesto was the need for a national parenting strategy. To say that being a parent is the most important job in the world, in many ways is an understatement. It can be the most challenging job in the world and if we want to meet our aspirations in making Scotland the best place to bring up children, you can’t do that without looking at how best to support parents,” she said.

She acknowledges that the strategy will be building on the work of her predecessor, Adam Ingram, who worked tirelessly on this agenda during his term as minister. The Scottish Government has accepted that early intervention to help raise children out of difficult circumstances is more cost effective in the long run than spending later on subsequent problems. However, it raises questions about which policies would be most effective in dealing with the issues.

Speaking ahead of her appearance at the David Hume Institute’s (DHI) seminar on early years last week, Professor Ann Buchanan, Director of the Oxford Centre for Research into Parenting and Children, said the issues surrounding early intervention are hugely important.

In a report for DHI, she said: “Children with emotional and conduct problems are overrepresented in areas of deprivation. In my work, using the National Child Development study of all children born in 1958, I found significant relationships between emotional and conduct disorders at age seven with low attainment at school, poor relationships with parents at age 16, poor relationships with partners age 33 and a greater tendency to mental health problems in adulthood. And so, we might surmise, the cycle continues into the next generation. Between 80 and 90 per cent of all crime is committed by people who had conduct problems as children.

“We have yet to see much happen… Scotland could take a lead on England and Wales by initiating a coordinated early years programme, as indeed it did in 1696 with its nationwide system of primary education.” For Angela Constance, parenting is at the heart of early years and preventative spending. She said: “The overall focus as a government is on the early years and preventative spending but you can’t really do all of that in isolation, without looking at how you support parents. In essence, if you are serious about improving the life chances of children and if you are serious about ensuring that our very young children get the best start in life, we need to look at parents, who are after all, the single biggest influence in a child’s life, particularly when it comes to education.

“There isn’t enough focus given to either parents or parenting and I think culturally we need to talk far more about parenting and about how we support parents. You will hear people saying, ‘oh, I’m just a mum’ or ‘I’m just a dad’, we need to be articulating as a government, and as a country, the importance of parents.” So will the strategy create a totalitarian parenting regime, hectoring Scotland’s mums, dads and carers into bringing up their children in a certain way? Constance insists this is not the case.

“A parenting strategy isn’t about the nanny state or the Government lecturing people about how to bring up their bairns. It is not about that, it is about supporting parents to do the right thing by their children. The parenting strategy is essentially for children. As we’ve been engaging with stakeholders, many of them have asked what it is about, they want to know if it will be for practitioners or for parents. The reality is that it will be both but at a fundamental level it is for children. Our focus is on children but it is going to have to be credible to parents, otherwise there is no point,” she said.

The strategy itself is still under construction and as yet, has no publication date. However, there are some aspects the minister expects it to focus on. Fathers and their role in bringing up children are going to be an important aspect of the work. And while this does not mean important women’s issues will be ignored, “we have to be able to include and speak to fathers”.

“When I go round the country visiting to family centres, many are actually doing good things to recruit male staff and to reach out to dads but there is much more that we need to do,” she said.

Despite the emphasis on the early years and addressing problems when children are young, the minister said the strategy will also focus on helping parents of teenagers and those whose children have disabilities or additional support needs.

Parenting and early years cannot be mentioned without reference to Professor Susan Deacon, author of ‘Joining the Dots’, the influential report released earlier this year for the Scottish Government on improving the prospects for Scotland’s children. Constance said what struck her about Deacon’s report, “was really her rallying cry that we need to just get on and do something”.

Speaking to , Deacon expressed concerns about the prospect of a parenting strategy, saying she was “sceptical about the value of another strategy” on the subject. She believes Scotland must move away from layers of policy and guidance and open the topic out into a wider public conversation. In ‘Joining the Dots’, the former Labour MSP and health minister said: “Most children in Scotland get a good start in life and most parents do a pretty good job. But all of us could do more and do better. Raising a child is one of the most important things many of us will ever do and, as individuals and as a society, we need to place a higher premium on the act of parenting and supporting young children. We need to build a wider shared responsibility in our communities and across the country for giving children a good start in life.

“We need to recognise the harsh reality that despite many laws, initiatives and much public spend there is still a significant number of children whose early childhood experience is poor and we need to do more to turn that situation around. The extent of inequality which persists in our society has a deeply damaging impact on families – and, in turn, the early years of many children’s lives. We must do more to narrow that gap. But so too is there much we can do to create a more level playing field from birth – and even before.

“Fostering and promoting the benefits of good parenting – which includes the role of mothers, fathers, partners, grandparents and other carers – must be at the heart of developing the potential of our young people. All parents could do more to give their children a better start in life and we need to accept that responsibility.” Deacon believes the time to act is now. “I am firmly of the view that we need urgently to create a ‘bias for action’ and radically shift energy, time and resource from analysis to action and from process to people. We need to recognise that it is people that make the difference and to value and respect the opinions and strengths of children, families and communities themselves. There have been too many warm words: we need change. There has never been a greater need and opportunity to combine our resources better and to invest in our children,” she said.

In terms of the strategy itself, Angela Constance insists it cannot be rushed. She said: “We are thinking about it in three phases.

In the first phase, we need to articulate what the national strategy will be about, what our ambitions are for parents and children; during the next phase, we really need to look at some of the technicalities like the alignment of local and national priorities and finally, we want to get to the stage where actually, in the parenting strategy, we can make an offer to parents.” When contemplating future strategies, it is important to acknowledge that work to help parents and improve the lives of children is currently taking place. Parenting organisations and initiatives are on the front line when it comes to dealing with families looking for guidance. Parenting Across Scotland acknowledged that family policy has come a long way since the organisation started in 2004.

At that time, the then Scottish Executive developed a range of policies to support families including Surestart Scotland, Additional Support for Learning and family health plans.

A spokeswoman for PAS said: “However, the anti-social behaviour legislation was also introduced at this time, the legislation contained a compulsory element to parents assessing support. Despite the wide range of positive policy initiatives which aimed to support parents and families, many families perceived a policy focus which was punitive and coercive of parents rather than supportive of families.

“The policy landscape has changed dramatically since 2004 and there is now talk of ‘enabling’ families or using an ‘asset based’ approach in family work – families are now being viewed as assets and policy makers and professionals should work alongside families when assessing and meeting their needs.

“PAS welcomes the Scottish Government’s commitment to a national parenting strategy.

The strategy should be underpinned by universal services offering a safety net for all parents, this could then lead on to more intensive or targeted support for families. Prevention and early intervention should be the basis of the strategy to ensure that parents get the help they need, when they need it to stop problems before they become crises. All families experience difficulties at times and asking for help ought to be normalised.” There are specific elements which PAS hope will be included in the new strategy. The organisation believes education is an important factor and they believe including parenting and relationship education within the school curriculum could lead to a culture change over time. Including information on parenting and relationships in the antenatal syllabus could also be beneficial.

Other factors PAS would like to see include a focus on early years with universal services such as health visiting to provide a non-stigmatising approach accessible to all parents. PAS also believe parents need accessible, affordable and flexible childcare to enable them to take up employment opportunities. This is especially true for parents who have a child affected by disabilities. PAS’ spokeswoman added: “The majority of calls to ParentLine Scotland are from parents of teenagers. Currently there are few services out there for parents of teenagers and consideration has to be given on how best to support parents through the teenage years.” Parenting remains much in vogue in the mainstream media. Television reality shows like Supernanny and Nanny 911 have turned parenting into entertainment but their popularity reinforces the view that parents are often at sea about where to get advice. Whether or not you agree with the ‘naughty step’ mantra of these programmes, all parenting support has its place and in the right context can be helpful, according to Jackie Tolland, director of Parent Network Scotland (PNS) – a parentrun organisation providing education and support to help parents improve their parenting, communication and relationship skills. She said: “However, every family is different so we should never use a prescriptive programme with families as they all have different strengths and challenges. If we treat everyone the same, they will start to feel even more isolated. We need to allow and support parents to find their own path through the maze of parenting information and expertise.

“PNS is unique in the way it offers support to parents. The support comes from parents who have walked the walk. Parents who have brought up children, have worked through and continue to work through issues and who realise that these techniques actually work.” A mum herself, Tolland believes one of the main issues facing parents today, is “feeling frustration” and not knowing where to turn or what to do when times get tough. “Parents can also feel like a failure and lack confidence in asking for help, thinking that they are alone in feeling the way they do,” she added.

PNS offers flexible parenting programmes to suit both the individual and groups. These range from full parenting workshops which run for about eight weeks to small taster and information courses taking a couple of hours.

These workshops are run by trained facilitators, who are all parents who have been through the programme themselves.

Speaking about PNS’ long-term goals, Tolland said: “We want to build networks of parents so that more parents feel supported by one another in their community. There is a huge gap that needs to be filled and we want to help parents do that. We want parents to be able to ask for help without feeling judged and to be supported by someone who has experiences to share. We want parents to be able to gain access to real opportunities within their own community whether gaining qualifications or learning new skills that are transferable.” PNS has also created a programme which is designed to build on the strengths that parents already have. The organisation says parental capacity building is about topping up and adding to the abilities that someone already has, for example, helping a parent to build their communication skills, which will help them to improve their interactions with their children’s teachers, doctors and others, while increasing their own confidence as they improve their skills.

Tolland added: “By building on their own capacity, parents are also able to become better role models for their children.” Angela Constance is determined that the national parenting strategy will benefit Scotland’s children. “I am absolutely committed and passionate about the need to do more for parents. As a country, we need to recognise the crucial work of parents.

The Scottish Government is taking the brave and bold step into shifting resources into the early years, early intervention and work with parents and parenting is all part of that. As we progress with the Change Fund and the early years task force, parents and parenting will have a big focus in that work, as a very tangible and meaningful here and now result. We do need to develop a meaningful, credible parenting strategy because we are serious about our work with parents. In that context, it is a very exciting time.”