Looking after your own…
A Holyrood staffer, formerly of Johnston Press but long since departed, was touched to find a letter from their former employer offering them a chance to claim shares in the company as part of a staff benefits scheme. JP had even offered the services of a customer help line (cost: 5p a minute) to explain any queries about the offer. Current value of one share in Johnston Press? 4.71pence.
Filling time
The charity, Save the Children, had a lunchtime briefing in Parliament last week to explain to elected members all the work that they do, and then broke for a buffet lunch. Although clearly interested in the admirable work that Save the Children does, guests were amused by the antics of one female MSP, who shall remain nameless, who attended and helped herself to quite a big plate of sandwiches, separated them one at a time using a spoon, ate the filling out of each of them and left a plate full of bread triangles. Said MSP then left before the end of the reception… Never mind save the children, save the crusts…
What’s in a name
Murdo Fraser’s plans to rebrand the ‘soon to be formally known as the Scottish Conservatives, now known as ‘abstract tree squiggle’ party, provoked a mischievous round of suggestions on twitter.
Some of Whollyrude’s favourite #newscottishtorypartynames below:
Self-Lothian
Purga-Tory
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Tory Party
The Murdo Fraser Appreciation Society
ScottishToriesGoBallistic CameronIsAttrocious Party
Get Over Thatcher, Money Is Lovely, K? Party
Holy Gouda
A friend of Whollyrude who was planning a dinner party for friends tells us she was rather bemused to find herself directed by the oh-so-helpful assistant to the bookshop’s religious section. However, all was revealed when our friend, who hails from across the Irish sea, sought out the assistant once more.
“Oh, I thought you said you were looking for books on Jesus, not cheeses,” the flustered assistant said.
This reminds Whollyrude of our favourite post-dinner cheese-related joke – what do you mean you don’t have a favourite cheese joke?
Q: “What type of cheese would you use to trap a bear?”
A: *beckons* “Camem-bear”
You’re ‘AVing a laugh
Despite the calamitous failure of the Yes campaign at this year’s AV referendum, its few supporters might take comfort from the revelation that there is an election campaign being waged right now that will be decided under the alternative system. It’s the Scottish Conservative leadership election.
Yes, you read that correctly. The contest between three candidates who all publicly opposed AV.
“Delicious irony,” as Professor John Curtice put it. So delicious, it calls for a second helping: Glasgow Kelvin was one of only two Scottish parliament constituencies that had a majority of voters backing the AV referendum. The Tory candidate there was… Ruth Davidson.
Too many tweets make a…
There’s openness, and there’s carelessness – which was it that motivated the Murdo Fraser leadership campaign to put a twitter feed on the main page of his website, murdo2011.com, without the proper filters? As Holyrood went to press, it continued to broadcast any message using the @murdofraser2011 handle.
Here’s a flavour:
gtc1902 @murdofraser2011 gave unconvincing performance on @ daily_politics. Doesn’t he know that as Deputy Leader he has been part of the problem?
DMackay2 I strongly support @ murdofraser2011 in his bid to disband the Scottish Tories. I just object to him setting it up again later.
fitalass @murdofraser2011 No, radical change is dishonest here. You want to start a new party, go do it without trying to disband mine.
Top tweets
For tweets direct from Holyrood magazine follow @HolyroodDaily
@Petewishart
The real West Lothian Question is – at what point on the M8 do you start putting salt and sauce on your chips instead of salt and vinegar?
@RichardLochhead
Why are all my clothes shrinking?
@mikeweirsnp
Stewed some of apples for tea – tasty.
@patrickharvie
Musically I am a serial monogamist, and currently deeply in love with Patrick Wolf.
@JohnFinnieSNP
I commend ‘Editions of You” by pre lounge music Roxy Music as a post committee paper reading “warm down”.
@jimmurphymp
Update on Commons locker key news. Another MP has had number ‘007’ since 1987. His name is Hood, James Hood. Unlikely but true.
@jamiehepburn
Hmm…just noticed my latest follower is @UKHouseofLords Not sure how to feel about that.
GemmaWDMP (Gemma Doyle)
Preparing 2 b a #rugbywidow is it honestly 6 weeks long???? #rugbyworldcup